Choose Your Destiny

18 already!

As my daughter turned 18 yesterday, it was quite an emotional day. We’re a close little family of 3 (I have a 15 year old son too). My kids are well grounded, decent kids who have strong morals. They are good kids who don’t get into trouble, don’t mix with the “wrong” crowd and will stand up for what they believe in.
I feel very honoured that she chose to spend her birthday with me and we shared her first experience of cocktails together.  She’s not a drinker so after 2 cocktails with about 5 shots of alcohol, she was very tipsy.  Which was highly amusing.

It could have been so different

I was particularly emotional because it could have been so different. I am a single mum because of Domestic Violence. 6 years ago, I was stuck in a rut.  I hated my life.  My kids were miserable and stressed.  We were constantly on edge, constantly waiting for the next violent explosion.  Like most women in that situation, I genuinely could not see how it would ever end or how I would ever get away from it all. Away from him.  But I did.

You have 2 choices

I won’t pretend it was easy.  Far from it.  But together we moved on and built a new life in a new house.  We’ve even got a cat (I hate cats and even my dog hates cats).  Like many children from domestic violence situations, my children saw and heard things that no child should ever see or hear.  

Everyone processes things differently but we processed it all together.  We laughed about things which really weren’t funny.  We cried and shouted together.  And we talked it all out.  Even now, 6 years later, stuff still comes up which we had forgotten about and we need to talk it out.  

For some adults or children, this sort of past could mean they choose a life of violence, drink, drugs or yet another violent partner.  But for us, we came out fighting stronger.  It took time but we talked it out and we changed out lives. We let happiness back in. Humour is a big part of our family. And love – lots of love.   And when I think of how far we have come, it makes me feel quite emotional.

We are not victims of Domestic Violence.  We are survivors.  

Much love


ps  If you or anyone you know, is experiencing domestic violence Safe In Sussex are amazing and run a free awareness course which is open to all women.  They even have a creche.

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