My life is so crap
I’ve heard this so often. People telling me that their lives are awful. I don’t mean clients who are explaining to me what’s upsetting them. I mean the people who always put a negative spin on stuff. Like the guy with the new car I was chatting to the other day. I said “oooh love the car” to which he grumpily replied “yeah, it’s not all that. It’s got too many gadgets in it”. He’d bought a brand new, top of the range blokey type car with all the added extras. Don’t ask me what it was. I have absolutely no idea. It was black and shiny. But I was highly amused by his lack of gratitude.
I’m sure you know people who always see the dark side of even the happiest events. Birthday coming up? “Meh, I’m fed up because I’m getting older”. Night out? “It’s going to cost me a fortune.”
Or maybe you’ve asked someone how their day was and heard that it was awful. But when you actually find out what happened, maybe they had cross words with a colleague for 10 minutes out of the day but they had then declared it to be a bad day. No mention of the other 7 or 8 hours at work which went smoothly.
Can you change it?
There are some things in life you can change and there are some things you just can’t change. They are out of your control. And some of those things might seem really unfair.
A friend of a friend is always broke. She complains constantly about being broke and tells everyone who will listen about what a struggle it is to feed her kids and how she can’t afford new shoes etc. So when she broke her phone the other day and she then went out and bought a brand new one for nearly £600 in cash, my friend was beside herself with fury. My friend was so irritated by this and was ranting to me over a coffee. She had helped this friend by buying her food, lending her money and driving her around. I listened to her for a bit to let her get it off her chest and then I asked her if she could change her friend. No. Can she change her friend’s behaviour? No. Can she do anything about it? No.
And then we talked about the fact that even though she can’t change her friend and her actions had irritated her, the one thing that she can change is her own response to the situation. We also talked about people who enhance your life and those who drain your energy.
Let it go
Some people will simply never learn to see the positives in life. They just don’t want to. And that’s fine. But if something is bugging you and you are not feeling calm and happy, then maybe it’s time to just let it go.
We all do it at times. We get worked up about things which really aren’t that important but in that moment, they seem important. Take a step back, breathe and let it go.
When you are in the midst of feeling cross or sad or irritated by something, just stop for a moment and ask yourself “Can I change it?” If the answer is “no” then maybe it’s time to just let it go.
You can make the decision to make today a great one, or you can choose to make it a crap one. The choice is yours.